Co-Dependency

What is Co-Dependency?

“A relationship in which a person is controlled by another, who is constantly promoting pathological conditions, it refers to the one who wants to command over other submissive people.”

By: Merriam Webster Dictionary

Keys of Co-Dependency

Develop functional hobbies Distance yourself Spend a peaceful time Expand the circle of support system. Codependence /Codependency = A Spiritual disease

Factors of Co-Dependency

Lack of love and nurture Rejection Family addiction Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse Mental or physical illness.

What to Expect

Co-dependence movement in Arizona in the mid-’80s. Co-Dependents Anonymous had its first meeting in October of 1986 and reading material on Co-dependence as a disease. These Co-dependence books were the next generation evolved from the books on the Adult Child Syndrome of the early ’80s. In Clark & Stoffel’s 1992, research article entitled: “Assessment of Co-dependency Behavior in Two Health Student Groups”, they described: “A painful dependence which includes: compulsive behaviors, forceful approvals, destruction of self-worth and identity”. An extreme control on others personal life, taking charge of others wellbeing will shatter the individuality of one person, it lowers the self-esteem, self-concept, and increases external locus of control. Codependent behaviors are self-destructive.

Decide what you are selfish or selfless

Do not get lost in the age of Me, Me, Me

Live—Lead–Love

According to Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More (1986):

Codependency harms a person in many ways: disturbance of moods, emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, it is a paradoxical dependency.

Scott Welzelt from Albert Einstein College of Medicine said that: “Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy bonding, where one person doesn’t have self-efficacy or autonomy”.

Co-Dependency Details

Recovery Suggestions For Co-dependency

  • Stop living like a victim
  • Trust yourself
  • Feel your feelings
  • Be compassionate yourself
  • Be tormenting
  • Stop self-doubt
  • Stop reacting
  • Detach emotionally
  • Become self-responsible
  • Prioritize needs and wants
  • Exercise rights and choice
  • Face reality
  • Stop other dependence
  • Set boundaries
  • Practice communication
  • Depend on yourself
  • Depend on your
  • God Live your life in recovery

Characteristics of Co-dependency

  • Disconnected self
  • Denial
  • Obsession
  • Repression
  • Caretaking
  • Controlling
  • Lack of trust
  • Angry
  • Dependent
  • Relationship problems
  • Weak boundaries
  • Sex problems
  • Poor communication

Co-dependents Beliefs

  • I am not enough
  • Not loveable
  • Do not feel
  • Don’t self-care
  • I feel not enjoy
  • I am to blame

Co-dependency Recovery Principles

  • Behave differently
  • Take self-responsibility
  • Accept your co-dependency
  •  

Co-dependent Roles

    • Scapegoat
    • Torment

    When a person attempts to control some else’s life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own.

Criteria of Co-dependents

    • Absence of self-relation
    • Dependency on others
    • Compulsive helping
    • People pleasing
    •  

Co-dependency Stands For

      • C = caring for
      • O = others before yourself
      • D = doesn’t give you strength
      • E = even though you may feel
      • P = powerful in order to be
      • E = empowered you must step back
      • N = nonchalantly allow yourself to
      • D = delve into your wellbeing
      • E = eventually feelings of peace will
      • N = naturally surround you
      • C = covering like a blanket for
      • Y = you and those you love.

      Tough love is the antidote for co-dependence

Co-dependent Relationships & Toxic Love

      • Love:

        • Development of self, the first priority.
        • Give opportunities for self and others to grow.
        • Encouragement for each other’s progressive plans.
        • Ready to adjust and negotiate, problem-solving together.
        • Enhance each other’s individuality.
        • Dealing your relation with full command over it and try to cope in most of the situations.
        • Enjoy your own company.
        • The cycle of comfort.

        Toxic love:

        • Insecurity leading to loneliness.
        • Excessive involvement.
        • Limited social life.
        • Fear from approval.
        • Jealousy, possessiveness, fear of competition.
        • Control over things, blaming, passive or aggressive manipulation.
        • Trying to change others under the influence of rigid behavior.
        • The relationship is not trustworthy.
        • Expectation; that one partner will handle everything and another one will not take part in it.
        • Fusion (being obsessed with each other’s problems and feelings).
        • Unable to endure separation.
        • The cycle of pain and despair.

        Love is not supposed to be teasing. There is nothing wrong in maintaining a relationship that will last forever but expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional.