Co-Dependency

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What is Co-Dependency?

“A relationship in which a person is controlled by another, who is constantly promoting pathological conditions, it refers to the one who wants to command over other submissive people.”

By: Merriam Webster Dictionary

What to Expect

Co-dependence movement in Arizona in the mid-’80s. Co-Dependents Anonymous had its first meeting in October of 1986 and reading material on Co-dependence as a disease. These Co-dependence books were the next generation evolved from the books on the Adult Child Syndrome of the early ’80s. In Clark & Stoffel’s 1992, research article entitled: “Assessment of Co-dependency Behavior in Two Health Student Groups”, they described: “A painful dependence which includes: compulsive behaviors, forceful approvals, destruction of self-worth and identity”. An extreme control on others personal life, taking charge of others wellbeing will shatter the individuality of one person, it lowers the self-esteem, self-concept, and increases external locus of control. Codependent behaviors are self-destructive.

Decide what you are selfish or selfless

Do not get lost in the age of Me, Me, Me

Live—Lead–Love

According to Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More (1986):

Codependency harms a person in many ways: disturbance of moods, emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, it is a paradoxical dependency.

Scott Welzelt from Albert Einstein College of Medicine said that: “Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy bonding, where one person doesn’t have self-efficacy or autonomy”.

Co-Dependency Details

Recovery Suggestions For Co-dependency

Stop living like a victim
Trust yourself
Feel your feelings
Be compassionate yourself
Be tormenting
Stop self-doubt
Stop reacting
Detach emotionally
Become self-responsible
Prioritize needs and wants
Exercise rights and choice
Face reality
Stop other dependence
Set boundaries
Practice communication
Depend on yourself
Depend on your
God Live your life in recovery

Characteristics of Co-dependency

Disconnected self
Denial
Obsession
Repression
Caretaking
Controlling
Lack of trust
Angry
Dependent
Relationship problems
Weak boundaries
Sex problems
Poor communication

Co-dependents Beliefs

I am not enough
Not loveable
Do not feel
Don’t self-care
I feel not enjoy
I am to blame

Co-dependency Recovery Principles

Behave differently
Take self-responsibility
Accept your co-dependency

Co-dependent Roles

- Scapegoat
- Torment
When a person attempts to control some else’s life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own.

Criteria of Co-dependents

- Absence of self-relation
- Dependency on others
- Compulsive helping
- People pleasing

Co-dependency Stands For

- - C = caring for
  - O = others before yourself
  - D = doesn’t give you strength
  - E = even though you may feel
  - P = powerful in order to be
  - E = empowered you must step back
  - N = nonchalantly allow yourself to
  - D = delve into your wellbeing
  - E = eventually feelings of peace will
  - N = naturally surround you
  - C = covering like a blanket for
  - Y = you and those you love.
  Tough love is the antidote for co-dependence

Co-dependent Relationships & Toxic Love

- - Love:
    - Development of self, the first priority.
    - Give opportunities for self and others to grow.
    - Encouragement for each other’s progressive plans.
    - Ready to adjust and negotiate, problem-solving together.
    - Enhance each other’s individuality.
    - Dealing your relation with full command over it and try to cope in most of the situations.
    - Enjoy your own company.
    - The cycle of comfort.
    Toxic love:
    - Insecurity leading to loneliness.
    - Excessive involvement.
    - Limited social life.
    - Fear from approval.
    - Jealousy, possessiveness, fear of competition.
    - Control over things, blaming, passive or aggressive manipulation.
    - Trying to change others under the influence of rigid behavior.
    - The relationship is not trustworthy.
    - Expectation; that one partner will handle everything and another one will not take part in it.
    - Fusion (being obsessed with each other’s problems and feelings).
    - Unable to endure separation.
    - The cycle of pain and despair.
    Love is not supposed to be teasing. There is nothing wrong in maintaining a relationship that will last forever but expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional.

Co-Dependency

What is Co-Dependency?

Keys of Co-Dependency

Factors of Co-Dependency

What to Expect

Co-Dependency Details

Love:

Toxic love:

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